On Christmas, a five year old boy asks his mom, " Mom will I get anything from Santa today." Mom says, " No you have been a really bad boy, but if you write a letter promising to be a good boy next year he might give you a present." Well, after thinking a while boy decides to write to Jesus instead of Santa, thinking that Jesus will make Santa to bring him a present. So he writes : "Dear Jesus, I promise to be a good boy for the next year." After thinking
The Matchmaker goes to see Mr. Schwartzberg, a confirmed bachelor for many years.
"Mr. Schwartzberg, don't leave it too late. I have exactly the one you need. You only have to say the word and you'll meet and be married in no time!" says the Matchmaker.
"Don't bother," replies Mr. Schwartzberg, "I've two sisters at home who look after all my needs."
"That's all well and good, but all the sisters in the world cannot fill the role of a wife."
"I said 'two sisters'. I didn't say they were MY sisters."
A traveling salesman rings the doorbell and 10-year old Little Johnny answers holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "Little boy, is your mother home?" Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What the hell do you think?"