A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
At his wedding was a mouse shouting away and congratulating the lion, "All the best my brother.... good luck....."
Seeing the mouse shouting away claiming that the lion getting married is his brother another Lion grabs the mouse and asks, "Who the hell do you think you are? How can a lion be your brother?"
The Mouse replied, "I was also a lion before I got married.
A Chinese Christian just died and went up to the Heaven. After an angel greeted him, the angel said, "Let me take you down to the Hell before we go inside the Heaven."
Once they were there, the Chinese saw a huge table full of a big feast. However, everybody around the table looked real sad and starving. He asked the angel why.
The angel said, "They only get a pair of 4-foot chopsticks and thus each one of them cannot feed oneself because the chopsticks are
A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Santa sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half. Banta was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet. The doctor asked Santa what he was doing. Santa replied, 'Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?' The doctor inquired of Santa what Banta was doing. Santa replied, 'Oh, he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a light bulb.' The doctor looks up and notices Banta's face is going all red. The doctor asks Santa, 'If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself?'. Santa replies, 'What? And work in the dark?'