Banta and his wife, Preeto, lived in a town filled with crime. After three of their neighbors' houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog. So Preeto went to the pet store and said, "I need a good guard dog." The clerk replied, "Sorry, we're all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But, he does knows karate." Preeto didn't believe the clerk, so he said to the dog, "Karate that chair." The dog went up to the chair and broke
The lawyer is standing at the gate to Heaven and St. Peter is listing his sins: 1) Defending a large corporation in a pollution suit where he knew they were guilty, 2) Defending an obviously guilty murderer because the fee was high, 3) Overcharging fees to many clients, 4) Prosecuting an innocent woman because a scapegoat was needed in a controversial case. The list goes on for quite a while. The lawyer objects and begins to argue his case. He admits
Law of equality: The time taken by a wife when she says I'll get ready in 5 minutes is exactly equal to the time taken by husband when he says 'I'll call you in 5 minutes!
Law of Queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Law of Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy tone.
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease
Santa, the biology teacher, called on Neha, "Can you tell me the part of the body that, under the right conditions, expands to six times it's normal size, and state the conditions." Neha gasped and said in a huff, "Why, Sir ? That is an inappropriate question and my parents are going to hear of it when I get home!" She sat down, red-faced. "Sunita, can you tell me the answer?" asked Santa. "The pupil of the eye, under dark conditions" said Sunita. "Correct. Now Neha, I have three things to say to you. First, you have not studied your lesson. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, you are going to be disappointed someday!"