A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: "To you, my loving wife Rachel, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and $5 million." The lawyer continued, "To my daughter Christy, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave her the yacht, the business and $2 million." The lawyer concluded, "And, to my cousin Matt, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will well, you are wrong. Hi, Matt."
GOD created the DONKEY and told him, 'You will work tireless from sunrise up to sunset, carrying heavy bags on your back, you will eat grass. You will not have intelligence and you will live 50 years. You will be a DONKEY!' The DONKEY answered, 'I will be a DONKEY, but living 50 years is too much, give me only 20 years!' and God gave him 20 years. GOD created DOG and told him ' You will look after man's house, you will be his best friend, you will eat whatever they give
A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding. Officer, "May I see your licence? Lady, "What does it look like?" Officer, "Its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it." The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer. The officer opens it up and says, "If you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over."
Once a newly married couple had a quarrel as a consequence of which, all conversation between them stopped. Unfortunately the husband was to attend his office very early the next morning. So he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me up at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning," and kept it beside his wife s pillow. His wife read it and went to sleep. He woke up very late the next morning and got very angry. He looked ferociously at his wife, but she calmly pointed towards his pillow. Under his pillow he found a piece of paper. On it was written, "Please get up, it is 6 o clock now."
A boss was educating an employee on effective sales technique.
"The main thing to remember is that repetition, repetition, repetition is the keynote!" he advised.
"If you have a product to sell, keep harping on it in every possible way, cram it down people's throats and beat them over the head with it! Above all, don't ever forget to repeat and repeat and repeat! It's the only way to get results!"
"Yes, sir!" the employee answered.
"And now, what was it you came in to see me about?" the boss asked.
The employee replied, "An increment! An increment! An increment! An increment! An increment! An increment! An increment!"