Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the Midwest, a recent college graduate trains employees in proper dress codes and etiquette.
One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her.
Thinking of her responsibilities, she scolded, "Dressed a little casually today, aren't we?"
The man replied, "That's one benefit of owning the company."
The voice on the other end says, "This is Jessica. We met at a party about 3 months ago."
George, "hmmm... Jessica? You say we met 3 months ago?"
Jessica, "Yes, it was at Adam's house. After the party gave me a ride home. On the way home, we parked and got into the back seat. You told me I was a good sport."
George, "Oh, yeah! Susan! How are have you been?"
Jessica, "Well, I'm pregnant and I'm going to kill myself."
A customer arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up their car, They were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. He went to the service department and found a mechanic, Mr Santa working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As the customer watched from the passenger's side, he instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. "Hey," he announced to the technician, "It's open!" "I know," answered Santa.- "I already got that side."
A mother complained to her doctor about her daughters strange eating habits. "All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?". "Eventually" said the Doctor, "she will rise and shine!"
A guy traveling through the prairies of the USA stopped at a small town and went to a bar.
He stood at the end of the bar, ordered a drink, and lit up a cigar.
As he sipped his drink, he stood there quietly blowing smoke rings.
After he blew nine or ten smoke rings into the air, an angry American Indian stomped up to him and said, "One more remark like that and I'll smash your face in!"
Said a lady to her friend, "When we got our divorce we divided everything we had equally between us. Two children stayed with me, two went to my ex-husband." "What happened to the property?" asked the friend. "That was shared equally between his lawyer and mine."