Your opening line is: "So, what's your homepage address?" You see a beautiful sunset, and you half-expect to see "Enhanced for Netscape 4.0" on one of the clouds. You are overcome with disbelief, anger, and finally depressed acceptance when you encounter a Webpage with no links. You felt driven to consult the "Cool Page of the Day" on your wedding day. Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom. You are driving on a dark and rainy
A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather and while eating the breakfast of eggs and bacon prepared for him, he noticed a film-like substance on his plate. So he says, "Grandfather, are these plates clean?" His grandfather replies, "Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your meal". That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed many little black specks around the edge of his plate, so again
When her husband passed away, the wife put the usual death notice in the newspaper, but added that he had died of gonorrhea.
Once the daily newspapers had been delivered, a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, "You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea."
Replied the widow, "Yes, I know that he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit that he really was."
A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign, hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold. Passersby pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so.
He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front of the 'S'!"