A tiny turtle began to climb a tree very slowly. Three hours later, it reached the top, climbed on to an outside branch, jumped into the air waving its front legs and crashed to the ground.
Saved by its shell, the tiny turtle started to climb the tree again. Four hours later, it reached the top, climbed on to a branch, jumped into the air waving its front legs and crashed to the ground.
Undaunted, the tiny turtle tried again. Four hours later, it reached
A drunk leaves a bar and decides to take a shortcut through a graveyard. It is raining heavily and very dark. The drunk fails to see an open grave and falls into it. He tries to climb out of it, but it is too deep and the rain has turned the dirt to mud and has made it too slippery to climb. He gives up after a while and decides to spend the night there. A while later, another drunk leaves the same bar and decides to take the same shortcut through the graveyard. He,
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now class, if I stood on my head, the blood as you know, would run into it and I should turn red in the face."
"Yes, sir," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in an ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market.
"Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend.
"I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."