A woman is enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening. "Oh, no! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He's going to really be ticked if it's not ready on time." When she gets home, she realizes she doesn't have enough time to go to the supermarket, and all she has in the cupboard is a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opens the can of cat food, stirs in the egg, and garnishes it with the lettuce leaf
A snail comes to a door of a grouchy old man and says: "Can I come in?" The old man says no and kicks the snail and the snail falls a few feet away. Five years later, the same snail comes back and says: "Why'd you done that for??"
Banta was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife Preeto, sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan. Banta asks, "What was that for?" Preeto replies, "What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Sheena written on it?" Banta says, "Oh, Preeto, remember two weeks ago when I went to the races? Sheena was the name of one of the horses I bet on." Preeto is appeased and goes off to work around the house. Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she repeats the frying pan swatting. Banta says, "What's that for this time?" Preeto answered, "Your horse just called."