An attorney was asked to make a contribution to a worthwhile charity. His response was, "I guess you hadn't heard, my mother is suffering from a terminal illness and she has medical bills which far exceed her income. My brother is a disabled combat veteran. He is not only blind, but is in a wheelchair and he has to take ten different medicines a day. My sister is the only parent of three children since her husband died without life insurance. She has no college and scrubs
Anna, 6 years old, gets home from school. She just had her first family planning lesson at school.
Her mother, very interested, asks, " How did it go?"
"I died of shame!" She answers!
"Why?" Her Mother asked.
Anna said, "Karen from down the road, says that the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage. Peter in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital."
Her mother answers laughingly, "But that's no reason to be ashamed?"
"No, but I can't tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves!"
An old penny pincher had no friends. Just before he died he asked his doctor, lawyer, and pastor to gather around him at bedside.
"I have always heard that you can't take it with you. But I want to disprove that theory," he said. "I have $90,000 under my mattress, and when I die, just before they throw the dirt on me at my burial, I want you each to toss in an envelope with $30,000 within."
The three attended the funeral and each threw his envelope in the
1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory. 2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again. 3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous. 4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here. 5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when