One day Bill Clinton is riding in his Limousine and he said to the driver, "You know, I used to love driving very much when I was young, and I haven't done it for a long time. Why don't you let me drive for once?" The driver thinks to himself, "Well, I can't say no to this guy, he's the president." So the driver pulls over and they change places. Bill was having fun, zooming down the freeway, dodging and overtaking cars. After a while the driver taps on the window
A woman drove a mini-van filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign.
"Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?" yelled an irate man.
She rolled down her window and yelled back, "What makes you think these are all mine?"
Banta owned a great big farm. He had lots of animals like pigs, chickens, horses and cows.
But then one day one of his horses became constipated so he went to the vet and the doctor gave him some big pills and a pipe. The doctor instructed him to put a pill in the pipe, stick the pipe up the horse's ass and blow as hard as he could.
Banta went home and did exactly what the vet told him to do.
An hour later Banta came back to the doctor's place looking very sick. The doctor asked what was wrong.
Class Ke Dauraan Ek Ladke Ne Apna Facebook Account khola Aur Status Update Kia: I am using fb in Class.
Professor Ne Us Pe Comment Kia: Class Se Nikal Jao.
Principal Ne Professor Ke Comment Ko Like Kia.
Dost Ne Comment Kia: Oye Cafe Aaja.
Maa Ne Comment Kia: Nalayak Kahin Ka, Class Nahin Attend Karni Toh Sabzi Le Kar Ghar Aaja.
Baap Ne Bhi Comment KAr Dia: Dekh Lo Apne Bete Ki Harkatein.
Usi Waqt Girlfriend Ka Comment Aa Gaya: Dhokhe Baaz Tum Ne Toh Kaha Tha Ki Hospital Mein Hun... Daadi Aakhri Stage Par Hain Isliye Milne Nahin Aa Sakta. Aur Aakhiri Khatarnaak Commnent Bhi Padhiye...
Daadi Ji Ka Comment: Tere Munh Min Keede Padein Haraam Khor, Main Abhi Zinda Hoon.
The teacher had just finished reading a story to the Fifth-grade class. She decided to check the student's knowledge of some of the vocabulary that had been used.
"Who knows what the word 'adolescent' means?" she asked.
Out of the entire class of 30, not one child raised a hand.
After a few more silent moments, she decided to give them a hint:
"Adolescent - it's something all of you are, and I am not."
Finally Little Johnny tentatively raised his hand, and in a very soft voice said, "Virgins?"
From a woman's point of view: - The most perfect man in the world is her father. - The most abused husband in the world is her brother. - The most handsome man in the world is her son. - The luckiest and happiest man in the world is her sister's husband. - The most thankful man in the world is her son in law. - And the worst, most selfish, heartless, total jerk and the man with worst behavior in the world is her husband.