A local daily ran a competition around Valentine's Day asking for a two line rhyme with the most romantic first line and the least romantic second line.
Here are some of the best enteries:
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife, Marrying you messed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; everything you are not.
I love your smile, your face and your eyes, Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My feelings for you, no words can tell, Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'
What inspired this amazing rhyme? A bottle of tequila, one part lime !
I ALWAYS wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific. HAVE you ever noticed ? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac. YOU have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don t know where she is. THE reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise. ANY time four New Yorkers get into a cab together
A customer complaint to the Irish Railway Company. The following is a customer complaint to the Irish Railway Company.
Gentlemen, I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people 2,000 years ago.
About four years ago David Weinlick, 28, Minneapolis, got tired of people asking him when he was going to get married, so he started to answer, "June 13, 1998." It became part of his shtick. Only one thing is missing from his upcoming wedding: a bride. Potential brides are invited to attend Weinlick's "bridal candidate mixer" the day of the ceremony, where the grrom's friends will screen them and their friends will screen Weinlick. There will be a vote, and Weinlick will marry the winner.
Customer (ek ladki): Agar mein aaj cheque deposit karun toh wo kab clear hoga?
Clerk: Kam se kam 3 din lagenge madam.
Ladki: Dono bank amne-samne toh hain phir bhi itna time kyun?
Clerk: Madam, PROCEDURE to FOLLOW karna padta hai na. Socho agar aap Shamshan ke bahar hi mar gai, toh aapko pahle ghar lekar jayenge ya wahin nipta denge ?
Photographer studio mein 6 saal ke bachche se bolta hai: Meri taraf dekho beta is camera se kabutar niklega.
Bachcha: Focus adjust kar, Jhallon wali baatein mat kar. Portrait mode use karna, macro ke sath, ISO 200 ke andar rakhna, High Resolution me pic aani chahiye Facebook pe upload karni hai warna paise nahi milenge. Non sense... 'Kabutar nikaaloge...' Tumhaare baap ne kabutar dala tha isme!!!