Beggar: Give me food. Man: I'll give you Vodka. Beggar: I don't drink, Give me food. Man: I'll give you cigarettes. Beggar: I don't smoke. Man: I'll take you to race. Beggar: I don't gamble. Man: I'll get you girl friend. Beggar: I love only my wife. Man: I'll give you food, but first you have to come to my house. Begger: Why? Man: I want my wife to see what state people get into when they don't Drink, Smoke, Gamble & Love only their own WIFE..!!
Ek vakil ne rone ki wajah puchi, toh us aurat ne kaha ki mera beta bimaar hai or dawa ke liye paise nahin hain.
vakil ne us aurat ko 1000 ka note dia aur kaha ki jao dawa le lo, Rs 100 ka doodh bhi le lena, baaki paise mujhe wapis de dena.
Aurat thodi der baad dawa aur dudh le aayi aur baaki Rs 650 vakil ko wapas kar diye.
vakil khush hua aur sochne laga ke Neki kabhi zaya nahi jati, Doctor ko fees mil gayi, bachche ko dawa mil gai aur......mera nakli note bhi chal gaya !!!
Santa decided to study for the MBA exam. He could understand every thing except for the LOGIC part. One day when he was reading, one of his friends came home.
Friend: Santa, how is your MBA preparation?
Santa: Every thing is fine, but I could not understand Logic.
Friend: Logic is very easy.
Santa: Can you give me an example, so that I can understand?
There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day, the kids show up and they saw the sign, which read: "Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide." The kids run off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer s sign. When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons are missing, but the sign next to his read: "Now there are two!!!"
Although this married couple enjoyed their luxury fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency.
So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, "Please take the wheel, dear. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore."
So she drove the boat to shore. Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was watching television.
She sat down next to him, switched the TV channel, and said to him, "Please go into the kitchen, dear. Pretend I'm having a heart attack. You must set the table, cook the dinner, and wash the dishes."
Girl: Oh! My name is Mary but you can call me "BABY". Am 19 and I stay in Lekki. I love short dark men like you, and am glad to meet you. So when are we going out?
Boy: No! No! No! Rich is my name. It's the short form of Richard.