A General retired after 35 years and realized a life-long dream of buying a bird-hunting estate in South Dakota. He invited an old friend to visit for a week of pheasant shooting. The friend was in awe of the General's new bird dog, "Sarge". The dog could point, flush and retrieve with the very best, and the friend offered to buy the dog at any price. The General declined, saying that Sarge was the very best bird dog he had ever owned and that he wouldn't part with him at any
It was rush hour, and when the bus finally arrived, it was packed.
I tried to force my way on, but no one would budge, although there was more than ample room in the back.
Then.... the bus driver took over.
"Excuse me, Ladies and Gentlemen," he shouted. "Will all the beautiful, smart people please move to the back of the bus, and all the ugly stupid people stay up front."
It was Saturday morning as Steve, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage. Steve asks her: "What are you up to?" Alice smiles: "I'm going hunting with you!" Steve, though he had many reservations about this, reluctantly decides to take her along. Later they arrive at the hunting site. Steve sets
A man and a woman walk into a very posh Rodeo Drover furrier. "Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the furrier goes up to the guy and discreetly whispers, "Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for $65,000." "No problem I will write you a check!" "Very good, sir." Says the shop owner. "Today is Saturday. You may come by
This salesman selling vacuum cleaners is going from door to door trying to flog them to unsuspecting housewives. He goes to this new estate hoping to have some luck there. Carrying his cleaner up to the door and holding a bunch of goodies in his other hand, he knocks on the door. "Excuse me madam," meanwhile pushing his way in the door. He quickly empties the goodies he has all over the lady's plush new wool carpet, including shit, gravel, dirt and an array of other crap. Then he pronounces: "The cleaners that I am about to sell you here are so good that if it doesn't clean that crap off your carpet I vow that I will eat it!" The lady furious with the mess replies, "Well you stupid salesman, would you like sauce with that because we haven't got the power on yet!"
A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school's soccer team to an "away game".
They stop for a rest break, and to let the kids work off some energy with a little impromptu practice in a nearby pasture. The teacher is sitting in a nearby diner, explaining to another patron how it is that blind kids can play soccer.
"We made a special ball, with a bell in it, so the kids can keep track of where the ball is and what it's doing by listening for it