Monday Night: Wife: Aaj tum daaru peeke aaye ho! Kyun? Husband: Arre aaj office main foreign clients ke saath meeting thi to peeni padi.
Tuesday Night: Wife: Aaj tum fir daaru pee ke aaye ho ! Kyun? Husband: Arre aaj mere ek friend ki engagement thi toh usne party di isliye.
Wednesday Night: Wife: Aaj bhi tum peeke aaye ho... Husband: Aaj ek friend ka breakup ho gaya... wo bahut udaas tha toh uska mood fresh karne ke liye...
One beautiful Sunday morning, a minister announced to his congregation: "My good people, I have here in my hands three sermons, a $100 sermon that lasts five minutes, a $50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes, and a $10 sermon that lasts a full hour. Now, we will take the collection and see which one I will deliver."
Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto arrived in New Delhi.
In an airport taxi cab, Peterson asked the driver, "Say, is this really a healthful place?"
"It sure is," the cabbie replied. "When I came here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room, and I had to be lifted out of bed."
"That's wonderful!" said the tourist, "How long have you been here?"
Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom.
They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand.
Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride. The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.
So he announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life."
Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me."
The whole audience including priest started laughing.... But not the poor groom!