Santa got up one Saturday morning with the odd feeling that something about this day was to be different. Something unusual was about to happen. He glanced out the window at the thermometer: 33 degrees. He went downstairs - the clock had stopped at 3 o'clock. He picked up the newspaper and read the date: the 3rd of the month. Threes - that was it! Santa grabbed the paper and flipped it open to the racing section. Sure enough in the 3rd race, there was a horse named Trio! Santa hurried to the bank, drew out his life savings and bet it all on the horse to win. The horse ran third.
Banta has been admiring his neighbor's wife. The neighbor's wife always gives him this seductive smile whenever they greet each other. Banta didn't know how to approach the lady to tell her of his desires because she's married. So, one day the lady herself approached Banta alone in his apartment.
Banta: Hi.
Lady: Hi.
Banta: Is everything alright?
Lady: Yes. Just need little help from you (Smiling seductively).
A man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at a fast food place. He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and as he watched, the older gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries until each had half of them. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would let him buy another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, "Oh, no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50." The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, to which she replied, "Not yet. It's his turn to use our the teeth.