A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. A nurse stopped him, and asked, "What's the matter?" He said, "I heard the nurse say, It's a very simple operation. Don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right." "She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?" "She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"
Santa is appearing on "Kaun Banega Crorepati (KBC)" with Amitabh Bachchan. Amitabh: "Santa, you're up to Rs Fifty lakhs, with one lifeline left: phone a friend. If you get it right, the next question is worth a crore rupees If you get it wrong, you drop back to Rs 3,20,000. Are you ready?" Santa: "Yes." Amitabh: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush." Santa: "I'd like to phone a
A Captain asked a sailor, "Where did your father die?" "He drowned at sea." "And your grandfather?" "At sea too." "Arent you afraid of the sea?" The sailor retorted, "Sir, where did your father die?" "In bed." "And your grandfather?" "In bed too." "Sir, arent you afraid to go to bed every night where your father and grandfather died?"
An Arab was admitted in the Lilavati Hospital at Mumbai for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case need arises.
As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries. Finally a Gujarati was located who had a similar type of blood. The Gujarati willingly donated his blood for the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati as appreciation
Jeeto came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem: "I fart all the time Doctor but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?" "Here's a prescription, Mrs. Santa. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week." The next week, an upset Jeeto marched into Doctor's office: "Doc, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, and they're still soundless, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself ?" "Calm down, Mrs. Santa," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing."