Santa got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone. "Is this one one one one?", says the voice.
"No, this is eleven eleven." "Are you sure it is not one one one one?" "No, this is eleven eleven." "Well, wrong number. Sorry to have got you up on the middle of the night." "That is all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.
Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat old man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost. A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!
An Indian goes to Walmart in the U.S. He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out.
The Manager gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy might not have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids. He asks the Indian to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food.
The Indian goes home and returns with a cat and gets to buy the cat food.
cabout 280 pounds, had the run of the park and feasted on bananas and apples, zoo officals said. But the bid for freedom by the 24-year-old gentle giant was ended after about 60 minutes by a tranquilizer dart and minutes later she fell asleep in a nearby mens room. No-one was hurt or injured in the incident.
An absent-minded professor was moving to a new house further along the same street. His wife knew that he was prone to forgetting things and so she wrote down the new address on a piece of paper he went off to college. She handed him the paper and the key to the new house and reminded him not to go back the old address.
That morning, one of his student asked him a complex question and the professor wrote the answer down on the back of the slip of paper. This student
Sadie and Rose were sitting under hair dryers at the hairdresser having a chat.
Sadie says, "Rose, how's that daughter of yours?"
Rose replies, "She's OK thanks. She married a fantastic man. He's got such a good job in the City that she gave up her secretary's job. She stays at home but never needs to cook, because he always takes her out, or clean the house, because he got her a maid, or worry about my 2 lovely grandchildren, because he got her a live-in