An overweight colleague of mine decided it was time to shed some excess pounds. He took his new diet seriously, even changing his driving route to avoid his .
One morning, however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic coffeecake. We all scolded him, but his smile remained cherubic.
"This is a very special coffeecake," he explained. "I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, 'Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious coffeecakes, let me have a parking place directly in front of the bakery.'
"And sure enough," he continued, "the eighth time around the block, there it was!"
A biologist phones his wife from his office and says, "Honey, something has just come up, I realize its not my field season, but I have to visit my field site for a week. So, would you pack my clothes, my field equipment and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in 1 hour to pick them up."
A week later he returned.
"Did you have a good trip, dear?" his wife asked.
"Oh, it was just a typical field trip, you know, work work work," he exclaimed, and added "But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."
"No I didn't," she replied. "I put them in the box of field equipment!"
In school one day the teacher decided in science class she would teach about materials. So she stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world what would it be?" Little Richie raised his hand and said "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche." The teacher nodded and called on Little Susie . Little Susie said "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Ferrari." The teacher smiled and then called on Little Johnnie. Little Johnnie stood up and said, "I would want silicon." The teacher said, "Why Johnnie?" He responded by saying, "because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!!"
Santa is a store manager. One day he overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon." Alarmed by what was being said, Santa rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago." Then Santa drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?" "Rain."