Santa Banta were driving their Maruti to the spot where they intended to place their bomb. Santa looked very worried. "Banta, what happens if the bomb we have on the back seat blows up before we get to the site?" "Not to worry," replied Banta, "I have a spare one in my attach case."
Santa was in the hospital for a complete check-up. At 11:00AM, they brought him soup for lunch. He refused it.
At 2 PM, they again tried to serve him some soup, which he refused.
Again, at 5 PM and 7 PM, they tried, and both times Santa turned down the soup, so they gave up.
In preparation for the next day's test, they entered his room at 3 AM, 4 AM, and 6 AM and gave him an enema each time.
When Santa got home from the hospital after the tests, he told his wife, Jeeto, "Whatever you do, if you go to that hospital and they try to serve you soup, take it! If you refuse it, they sneak in while you're asleep and shove it up your @ss!
An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.
He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.
As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by.
"Throw the baby down!" shouted the fireman to a woman on top of a blazing building. "I won't!" she yelled back. "You might drop him!" No, I won't!" he shouted back. "I m a professional goalkeeper!" Reassured, the woman dropped her baby to the footballer, who immediately bounced the child three times and kicked him over the garden wall...!