Little Johnny farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out. He goes and sits outside the class and can't stop laughing.

The principal walks by and sees him sitting outside laughing. He says, "Little Johnny what are you doing sitting here laughing?"

Little Johnny says, "I farted in class and the teacher threw me out."

The principal says, "Well then, why are you laughing?"

Little Johnny says, "Because the dumb idiots are sitting in the classroom smelling my fart while they put me outside in this beautiful, clean air."
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A lion woke up one morning feeling rowdy. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"

The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!

Later, the lion confronts a deer and bellows, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"

The terrified deer stammers, "Oh great lion, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle!"

On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, "Who
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I'm sure you will enjoy this. One word in the English language that could be a noun, verb, adj, adv, prep is UP. Read until the end... you'll laugh.

This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is'UP.' It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

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Banta wanted to use his ATM card but the machine kept on rejecting the card. In frustration Banta called his bank help line.

Banta, angrily: So what's wrong with my ATM card?
Girl: Sir, I have checked your account, everything is alright here and you should be able to use your card, are you sure your card is not damaged or broken?

Banta: Are you insane? What are You insinuating? No one takes good care of their ATM card like I do.

Girl: Okay Sir, are you also sure the surface isn't wet or stained with dirt?

Banta: Are you mad? I take very good care of my card. As a matter of fact, I even got it laminated last week when I laminated my Identity card.
Girl: Did you just said LAMINATE?
Banta: Of course Yes!!!
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A young lad and his mother were walking down the street when suddenly the boy yelled out excitedly, "Mother, Mother, Look at that bowlegged man!"

His mother immediately hushed him, explaining it was not polite to make fun of bowlegged people.

The next day the same thing happened. "Look mother, there's that bowlegged man!"

The mother grabbed the lad by the arm saying, "When we get home you'll be punished for this outburst."

When they
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Customer: "Waiter! I asked for Alu Paratha but I find no potatoes in it!"
Waiter: "What's in a name Sir! If you ask for Kashmiri Pulav, will you expect to find Kashmir in it?"
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