A man walked into the bar and saw an old friend of his, drinking by himself. Approaching his friend, he commented, "You look awful. What's wrong?" "My mother died in May and left me 25,00,000," the friend answered. "Boy, that's tough," the man replied. Continuing, the friend said, "Then in June, my dad died leaving me 50,00,000." "Gosh, both parents gone in such a short period of time? No wonder you're depressed," said the man. "Last month my aunt died and left me 10,00,000," the friend added. "That's a lot to deal with. Losing three close family members in three months, is terrible!" replied the man. "Then this month," continued the friend, "nothing! Not even a single rupee!"
Three women were sitting around and bragging about their children.
The first one says, "You know, my son, he graduated first in his class from Stanford. He's now a doctor, making $250,000 a year in Chicago."
The second woman says, "You know my son, he graduated first in his class from Harvard. he's now a lawyer, making half a million dollars a year and he lives in Los Angeles."
The last woman says, "You know my son, he never did too well in school. He never went to any university but he now makes one million dollars a year in New York working as a sports repairman."
The other two women ask, "What is a sports repairman?"
The woman then replies, "He fixes games... you know, hockey games, football games, baseball games, cricket games...."
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road.
Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh yeah?" the man asked... "And where were you when I got married?"