Fireman John rushed into a burning building and rescued a beautiful young lady who was clad only in the top half of her baby-doll nightgown. He carried her in his arms down three flights of stairs and saved her from her sure demise. As they arrived safely, a wash of gratitude rushed over her. She looked at him with great fondness and admiration, then said, "Oh, you are wonderful! It must have taken great strength and courage to rescue me the way you did." "Yes it did," the fireman admitted. "I had to fight off three other firemen who were trying to get to you first!"
Santa and Banta, while in New York trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle went to a party. The conversation turned to Mozart. "Absolutely brilliant, magnificent, a genius!" Banta, wanting to join in the conversation, remarked casually, "Ah, Mozart. You are so right. I love him. Only this morning I saw him getting on the No. 5 bus going to Long Island." There was a sudden hush, and everyone looked at him. Santa was mortified. He pulled him away and whispered, "We are leaving right now." As they drove home, he kept muttering to himself. Finally Banta turned to him. "You are angry about something." "Oh, really? You noticed?" he sneered. "I have never been so embarrassed in my life! You saw Mozart take the No. 5 bus to Long Island? You idiot ! No. 5 bus does not go out to Long Island"
A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don t want to go out there. It s dark!" The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don t have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He ll look after you and protect you." The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he is out there?