Santa and Banta decided to rob a bank but during the process of the robbery they mess it up, but they do managing to escape with two sacks that they find on the floor.
They do manage to take one sack each.
After a while they meet again and one asks the other...
Santa: What did you find in your sack?
Banta: Ten lakh Rupees!
Santa: Wow... that's a lot of money!' What did you do with the cash?
Banta: I bought a house. How about your sack?
Santa: It was full of bills.
Banta: And what did you do with them?
Santa: Eh, well... little by little, I'm paying them off...
Sam and John were out cutting wood, and John cut his arm off. Sam wrapped the arm in a plastic bag and took it and John to a surgeon. The surgeon said: "You are in luck! I am an expert at reattaching limbs! Come back in four hours." So Sam came back in four hours and the surgeon said: "I got done faster than I expected to. John is down at the local pub." Sam went to the pub and saw John throwing darts. A few weeks later, Sam and John were out again, and John
A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop. 'How can I help you?' asked the stylist. 'Listen lady, I'm a rich man but I haven't been able to solve my balding problem,' the guy explained, 'I went for a hair transplant but I couldn't stand the pain. If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I'll pay you Rs. 1,00,000.' 'No problem,' said the stylist, and she quickly shaved her head.
Santa and his wife lives in a small house in Chandigarh. One day Santa's wife, Jeeto, asks Santa to fix a cupboard door, since one of the hinges was broken. His reply was "Do I look like a carpenter? I'm a Photographer, not a carpenter. Get a carpenter to fix the door". A few days later, Jeeto asks him to fix a dripping tap. Again Santa replies "Do I look like a plumber? I'm a photographer, not a plumber. Get a plumber to fix the tap". A week later, Santa notices
Two friends meet on a Miami street. One looked forlorn, and almost on the verge of tears. The other man said, "Hey, how come you look like the whole world caved in?" The sad fellow said, "Let me tell you. three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me forty thousand dollars." "That's not bad." "Hold on, I m just getting started. Two weeks ago, a cousin I never knew, kicked the bucket, and left me eighty-five thousand free and clear." "Sounds like you should be grateful. " "Last week my great aunt passed away. I inherited almost a quarter of a million." "The how come you look so glum?" "This week... nothing!"