Death came to a guy and said,"My friend today is your day..."
The guy said,"But I am not ready!"
Then death said, "Well your name is the next on my list..."
So the guy told death, "Ok why don't you take a seat and I will get you something to eat before we go?"
Death said, "All right..."
The guy gave death some food with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell into a deep sleep. The guy took the list & removed his name from top of the list to the bottom of the list.
When death woke up he said to the guy, "I will start from the bottom of the list because you have been so very nice to me..."
One day a teacher was giving a lecture on philosophy, and had the class enthralled. It was a brilliant lecture.
Suddenly, over his head a bright light flashed and an angel came down and approached the teacher.
She said, "You are doing such a good job teaching this class, I have decided to give you one wish. You can have infinite money, infinite wisdom, or infinite knowledge."
Thinking for a minute, he humbly asked for infinite wisdom. She tapped him with a magic wand and disappeared in a flash. The class came forward to hear the first words from a man with infinite wisdom.
He said, "It would of been wiser to take the money..."
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, the officer notices that there are five old ladies-two in the front seat and three in the back-wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand
"Funny you have not been to see me before!" the doctor barked at Mulla Nasruddin. "Have you consulted any other doctor about your condition?"
"No, Sir," stammered the Mulla. "Only the chemist."
"Good Heavens, man," snorted the doctor, "Have no sense? This just shows how stupid people can be! The chemist is not medically qualified - you had right to consult him! And what nonsense did he tell you?"
Santa's wife gave birth to their fourth child. He is to get the child's birth registered at the Registrar of births and Deaths. He is given the requiste form to fill. He fills data in the form as under: Mother: Indian. Father: Indian Child: Chinese." "How come, you write "Chinese" when both parents are Indians?", the clerk at the Office asks. "Aah, Santa reads newspaper everyday. I read only the other day that every 4th person born on the Earth now is Chinese."