Banta sets up his friend Santa to go on a blind date with a college friend.
Santa is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before.
"What do I do if she's ugly?" says Santa, "I'll be with her all night."
"Don't worry," Banta says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don't, just shout "Aaaaaauuuggghhh!" and fake a heart attack."
That night Santa knocks at the girl's door. When she comes out he is awe-struck at how hot and gorgeous she is.
He's about to speak when the girl suddenly grabs her heart, shouts, "Aaaaaauuuuggghh!" and collapses with a heart attack.
A young man who was an avid golfer had a few hours to spare. He figured that if he played quickly, he could squeeze in nine holes before heading home. Just as he was about to tee-off, an elderly gentleman asked if he could accompany him as he, too, was playing alone. The young man agreed. When they finally reached the ninth fairway, the young man had a tough shot-there was a large pine tree directly between his ball and the green. He was considering how to hit the shot, when
A man rushed home from work and exclaimed to his wife, "Pack your bags, I ve won the lottery!" The wife excitedly asks, "Should I pack clothes for cold or warm weather?" He says, "Pack em all, you re leaving!"