During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I'm to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved
A writer died and St. Peter offered him the option of going to hell or to heaven. To help decide, he asked for a tour of each destination. St. Peter agreed and decided to take him to hell first. As he descended into the fiery pits, the writer saw row upon row of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes by demons. "Oh, my," the writer said, "let me see heaven." A few moments later, as they ascended into heaven, the writer saw row upon row of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes by demons. "Hey," the writer said, "this is just as bad as hell." "Oh, no it's not," St Peter replied, "here your work gets published!"
Tommy enters the confessional box and says. . . "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman." The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy ?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And who was the woman you were with?" "Sure and I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation." "Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda?" "I cannot say." "Was it Patricia
A pastor at a frontier church ended a stirring sermon with, "All those who want to go to heaven, put up your hands!"
Everybody enthusiastically raised their hands.... everybody except a grizzled old cowboy who had been slouching against the door post at the back of the room.
All heads turned as he sauntered up to the front, spurs jangling and said, "Preacher, that was too easy. How do you know if these folks are serious? I can guarantee to prove who really means it and who don't!"
Bemused the preacher said, "Ok, stranger, go ahead and put the faith of these good people to the test. Ask them anything you want."
At that, the cowpoke pulled his twin six-shooters, turned to the audience and said, "Alright... who wants to go to heaven... raise your hands!"