Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbour and decided to go to a calm place to share the lot equally. One of them suggested the nearby cemetery.
As they were jumping the big gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the big bag but they didn't bother to pick them since they had enough in the bag.
A few minutes later, a drunkard on his way from a bar, passed near the cemetery gate and heard a voice saying, "One for me, one for you
There was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. The bucket was so full, several rolled out towards the fence. Cycling down the road by the cemetery was a third boy. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard
Three men of the cloth, a Catholic, a Jew and an Episcopalian were on an airplane trip together.
They ran into the worst turbulence in the history of aviation on the whole flight. When the plane finally landed, a reporter is there and starts interviewing people.
The first one is the Catholic and when asked was he afraid, he answered, "I am Catholic my son and yes, I was afraid but I prayed to my God and I knew he would see me through it."
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle. He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true." The French wanted to start. He run towards the pool
A priest decides one mid weekday to visit one of his elderly parishoners, Mrs. Smith. He rings the door bell and Mrs. Smith appears. "Good Day Mrs. Smith. I just thought I would drop by and see how your are doing." The woman says, "Oh just fine Father, come on in and we'll have some tea." While sitting a the coffee table, the priest notices a bowl of almonds on the table. "Mind if I have one?", the priest says. "Not at all, have as many as you like". After
George was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
Looking up toward heaven, he said, "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up tequila."
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
George looked up again and said, "Never mind. I found one."