A fellow was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first said that he usually played alone but agreed to the twosome.
They were even after the first two holes and the second fellow said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for $5 a hole?"
The first fellow said he was not much for betting but agreed to the terms. The second fellow won the next 16 holes.
An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided she would take her lunch, sit with the workers and talk with them. She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were eating. She walked up to the group and with a big smile asked, "Do you men know Jesus Christ?" They shook their heads, shrugged and looked at each other dumb founded. One of the workers looked up into the steelwork and yelled, "Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?" One of the steelworkers asked why. The worker yelled, "His wife is here with his lunch."
A minister was opening his mail one morning. Drawing a single sheet of paper from an envelope he found written on it only one word: "FOOL". The next Sunday he announced, "I have known many people who have written letters and forgot to sign their name. "But this week I received a letter from someone who signed his name and had forgotten to write a letter."
A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither are hurt.
They crawl out of their cars and the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There's nothing left but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God. God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."
A guy was coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed him by the hand and pulled him aside and said, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" The guy said, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the Secret Service."