Tommy enters the confessional box and says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman." The priest asks, "Is that you, Tommy ?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And who was the woman you were with?" "Sure and I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation." "Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda ?" "I cannot say." "Was it Patricia ?" "I'll never
One morning a man came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw away his crutches. An alter boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen. "Son, you've just witnessed a miracle," the priest said. "Tell me where is this man now?" "Flat on his ass over by the holy water," said the boy.
Paddy sat in the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey."
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
There was a man called Joe, who lived near a river. Joe was a very religious man. One day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and he was forced to climb onto his porch roof. While sitting there, a man in a boat comes along and tells Joe to get in the boat with him. Joe says "No, that's ok. God will take care of me." So, the man in the boat drives off. The water rises, so Joe climbs onto his roof. At that time, another boat comes
At a small parish in rural England there lived a priest, and several nuns. One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that the rugs in the church were beginning to fray. She went to the priest and told him, "Father, I believe your rugs need to be replaced soon." The priest thanked her for bringing it to his attention, and told her that he thought that she had been there long enough to refer to church property as 'our' not 'your.' Several days later, the same nun