The top marketing director of Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican.
Nescafe official, 'Your Eminence, I have some business to discuss. We at Nescafe have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily coffee'."
The Pope looks outraged and thunders, "That is impossible. The Prayer is the word of the
One Sunday, a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money. He asked the people to consider donating a little more than usual into the offering plate.
He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.
After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed ten $100 bills in the offering.
He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation
A funeral service is being held in a church for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the Service, the pall-bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually still alive! She lives for ten more years and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the same church and at the end of the ceremony, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "WATCH OUT FOR THAT WALL!"
By the time the morning service was to begin, only one man was in the church. The priest said to him, "It looks like everyone has slept in. Do you want to go home or should I preach the sermon?" The man replied, "When I go to feed the chickens and only one comes, I still feed it." The priest took that as a yes, mounted the pulpit and delivered an hour-long sermon. At the end, he asked the man what he thought. His answer: "When I go to feed the chickens and only one comes, I don't give it the whole bucket!"
At one local church, Jack was in charge of taking up the offerings. One Sunday after the services, the priest counted the cash and found it was smaller than anticipated. So he questioned Jack. He told him that it did not seem enough for the size of the congregation. Jack said that he did not take any of the offering. The priest again questioned him and again he said that he did not take any of the offering. So the priest said "get in the confessional" which Jack did