Mrs. Jones was walking down a Street in Dublin, and coming in the opposite direction was Father O'Rafferty. "Hello," said the Father, "And how are you Mrs. Jones? Didn't I marry you two years ago?" She replied "You did that, Father." "And are there any little ones yet?" "No, not yet, Father," she said. "Well now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for you." "Oh, thank you, Father." And away she went. Several years later they
The Pope was finishing his sermon in the Basilica in St. Peters Square in Rome. He ended it with the Latin phrase, "Tutti Homini" - Blessed be Mankind.
A women's rights group grievously approached the Pope the next day. They pointed out that the pope blessed all Mankind, but not Womankind.
The next day, after His sermon, the Pope concluded by saying, "Tutti Homini, et Tutti Femini" - Blessed be Mankind and Womankind.
The next day, a gay-rights group approached the Pope. They said that they noticed that he blessed mankind and womankind, and inquired if he could also bless gay people.
The Pope said, "Sure".
The next day, the Pope concluded his sermon with, "Tutti Homini, et Tutti Femini, et Tutti Fruiti."
At a church meeting a very wealthy man rose to tell the rest of those present about his Christian faith. "I'm a billionaire," he said, "and I attribute it all to the rich blessings of God in my life. I remember that turning point in my faith. I had just earned my first dollar and I went to a church meeting that night. The speaker was a missionary who told about his work. I knew that I only had a dollar bill and had to either give it all to God's work or nothing at all. So
At a church meeting a very wealthy man rose to tell the rest of those present about his Christian faith.
"I'm a millionaire," he said, "and I attribute it all to the rich blessings of God in my life. I remember that turning point in my faith. I had just earned my first dollar and I went to a church meeting that night. The speaker was a missionary who told about his work.
" I knew that I only had a dollar bill and had to either give it all to God's work
A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car. After the purchase, they drove it home and parked it on the street between them. A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling water on their new car. It didn't need a wash, so he hurried out and asked the priest what he was doing. "I'm blessing it," the priest replied. The rabbi considered this for a moment, then went back inside the synagogue. He reappeared a moment later with a hacksaw, walked over to the back of the car and cut off two inches of the tailpipe.
After years of his wife's pleading, this rich good ole' boy finally goes with her to her little local Church on Sunday morning. He was so moved by the preacher's sermon that on the way out he stopped to shake his hand.
He said, "Reverend, that was the best damn sermon I ever did hear!"
The Preacher replied, "Oh!! Why, thank you sir, but please, I'd appreciate it if you didn't use profanity in the Lord's house."