Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours, until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge. They type furiously, lines of code streaming across the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show what he has
On Christmas, a five year old boy asks his mom, " Mom will I get anything from Santa today." Mom says, " No you have been a really bad boy, but if you write a letter promising to be a good boy next year he might give you a present." Well, after thinking a while boy decides to write to Jesus instead of Santa, thinking that Jesus will make Santa to bring him a present. So he writes : "Dear Jesus, I promise to be a good boy for the next year." After thinking
10. Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning - cold. 9. The Ten Commandments are actually only five, double-spaced, and written in a large font. 8. New edition every two years in order to limit reselling. 7. Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn t cafeteria food. 6. Paul s letter to the Romans becomes Paul's e-mail to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. 5. Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates. 4. The place where the end of the world occurs: Finals, not Armageddon. 3. Out go the mules, in come the mountain bikes. 2. Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen. 1. Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job." So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with
A rabbi and his two friends, a priest and a minister, played poker for small stakes once a week. The only problem was that they lived in a very conservative blue-law town. The sheriff raided their game and... took all three before the local judge.
After listening to the sheriff's story, the judge sternly inquired of the priest: "Were you gambling, Father?"
The priest looked toward heaven, whispered, "Oh, Lord, forgive me!" and then said aloud: "No, your honor, I was not gambling."
"Were you gambling, Reverend?" the judge asked the minister.
The minister repeated the priest's actions and said, "No, your honor, I was not."
Turning to the third clergyman, the judge asked: "Were you gambling, Rabbi?"
The rabbi eyed him coolly and replied, "With whom?"
A district minister arrived one Sunday morning in a small rural town. The local minister asked the district minister to help with a local problem.
"Everyone here thinks they are just perfect!" said the local minister. "Could you preach a sermon that will bring them back to their senses?
The district minister was a gifted speaker, eloquent with words and knowledgeable about the Scripture. He spoke for nearly an hour, convincing everyone that they too were