In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day. The lion thought its prayers were answered when one US Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the US Zoo.
The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card also.
On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast
Sachin received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude. Sachin tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything that came to mind. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird, the bird got worse. He shook the bird and the bird got madder and ruder. Finally, in a moment
Having arived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm.
Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat and went about his fishing.
An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pantleg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth.
A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog. The man replies, "Come on, a dog?" The owner says, "How about a cat?" The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!" The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I've got it! A centipede!" The man says, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing everything
A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any crackers?" Bar tender says, No. Duck walks out. Duck walks in the next day and asks, "Got any crackers?" Bar tender says, No. Duck walks out. Duck walks in the next day and asks, Got any crackers? Bar tender says, "I told you yesterday and the day before that no! And if you ask that one more time Ill nail your beak shut!" Duck walks out. Duck comes back the next day and asks, "Got any nails?" Bar tender says, No. Duck says "Good. Got any crackers?"