A tiny turtle began to climb a tree very slowly. Three hours later, it reached the top, climbed on to an outside branch, jumped into the air waving its front legs and crashed to the ground.
Saved by its shell, the tiny turtle started to climb the tree again. Four hours later, it reached the top, climbed on to a branch, jumped into the air waving its front legs and crashed to the ground.
Undaunted, the tiny turtle tried again. Four hours later, it reached
A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, "Hey Koala! What are you doing?"
The koala said, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."
So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few hits. After awhile the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry' and that he was going to get a drink from the river.
The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned over
A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says: "The parrot on the left costs 500 dollars". "Why, does the parrot cost so much" asks the first man. The owner says, "Well the parrot knows how to use a computer". The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system. Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot to be told that it costs 2,000 dollars. Needless to say this begs the question "What can it do?" To which the owner replies "To be honest, I have never seen it do a thing but the other two call him boss!".
A rabbit escaped from a research laboratory where he had lived since birth. He joined a group of wild rabbits and lived their lives for a day. He fed on juicy carrots, fat lettuces and sighed with pleasure.
"This is life!" he exclaimed.
"So you are going to live with us?" asked the others.
"I wish I could but I really must get back to the laboratory. I am dying for a cigarette."
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I wish you could talk." The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down. "You can understand what I am saying?" asked the officer. Again, the monkey shook his head up and down."Well, did you see this
A camel decided to educate his son who he suspected was getting a little inquisitive. 'Why do we have two humps?' asked the son. 'That is so that we can go for days and weeks without water. We can store it in the humps.' 'Why do we have very long eye lashes?' 'That,' he was told, 'is to protect the eyes from the sand in a sand storm.' 'And why do we have bulbous looking feet?' 'That is so that we can travel twice as fast through the desert.' 'Dad,' asked the young camel, 'what the hell are we doing in this zoo?'