5 minutes ago you were travelling to office at 80 mph. in your brand new car. Now you are travelling to hospital at double the speed in an ambulance. You wish there was UNDO in life! You are already late, and your key is missing. You wish there was FIND TOOL in life! You are a bankrupt, after investing in some weird business. You wish there was REBUILD ALL in life! The train is so crowded that you cannot get anywhere near that nice girl at the other end. You
What does a baby computer call his father? Data. What is a computer's first sign of old age? Loss of memory. What happened when the computer fell on the floor? It slipped a disk. Why was there a bug in the computer? It was looking for a byte to eat. What is a computer virus? A terminal illness. To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.
Your opening line is: "So, what's your homepage address?" You see a beautiful sunset, and you half-expect to see "Enhanced for Netscape 4.0" on one of the clouds. You are overcome with disbelief, anger, and finally depressed acceptance when you encounter a Webpage with no links. You felt driven to consult the "Cool Page of the Day" on your wedding day. Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom. You are driving on a dark and rainy
LOG ON: Making the wood stove hotter LOG OFF: Don't add wood MONITOR : Keep an eye on the wood stove MEGAHERTZ: When a big log drops on your barefoot in the morning FLOPPY DISK : What you get from piling too much wood RAM: The hydraulic thing that makes the woodsplitter work DRIVE: Getting home during most of the winter PROMPT: What you wish the mail was during the snow season ENTER: Come on in WINDOWS: What you shut when it gets 10