In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court. At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed. 'Congratulations,' the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. 'You did superbly under cross-examination.' 'Thanks,' he said, 'but he sure had me worried.' 'How's that?' the lawyer asked. 'I was afraid he was going to ask if the damned lantern was lit!'
There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into the Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his instruments went out. He began circling around looking for a landmark. Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with a guy working alone on the fifth floor. He banks the plane around, rolls down the window and shouts to the guy,
This story is set during the early part of this century, when steam trains were still commonplace. Two men were going to go on a journey by rail. They'd never been on a train before, and were rather nervous. They decided to take some oranges on the train with them, as eating oranges might help take their minds off the journey. The men bought their tickets and got on the train. They bought the cheapest tickets, which were for the third class carriage. Third class had
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey please." The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, "That'll be $5000." The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was