Dear Abby, I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I cant afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions? "Dear Sam, Yes. Run for public office," suggested Abby.
Francis Bacon: One of the most influential minds of the late 16th century. A statesman, a philosopher, a writer, and a scientist, he was even rumored to have written some of Shakespeare's plays. How he died: Stuffing snow into a chicken. One afternoon in 1625, Bacon was watching a snowstorm and was struck by the wondrous notion that maybe snow could be used to preserve meat in the same way that salt was used. Determined to find out, he purchased a chicken from
A 31-year-old Vietnamese woman, Phan Thi Hien, forced her 10-year-old stepson to stitch up his moutha as punishment for stealing 200 dong (1.3 cents).
The boy was beaten severly and given a needle and thread by his stepmother and was forced to sew his lips together, while she stood watch over him. Newpaper reports state that Hien could be prosecuted on charge of ill-treating the child. Incedentally, she has not been arrested since she has a younger child to take care of.
George W. Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?" The barman says, "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?" Bush says, "We're planning World War III". And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?" Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis and one intelligent blonde. The guy exclaimed, "Intelligent blonde!! Why kill a blonde?" Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, smart ass?! I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"
The Israeli Ambassador is sitting down with Yassir Arafat to try to work out a peace agreement. The Ambassador asks if he might first tell a story. Arafat tells him to go ahead. The Ambassador begins.
"When Moses was in the desert for 40 years, the Jews got very thirsty and Moses asked God for water and there appeared a beautiful lake. The Jews first drank and then bathed themselves. Moses did the same when it was his turn, but when he came out of the water, all his clothes were gone. "Moses shouted, 'Where are my clothes? Who took them?"' "The Jews answered, 'The Palestinians took them.'" Arafat quickly objected by saying that there were no Palestinians at that time. he Ambassador looks at Arafat and says, "RIGHT!!! NOW we can begin to negotiate.
An Indian politician went to the US to visit his counterpart. When the senator invited him home for dinner, the minister was very impressed by the lavish mansion, grounds and the costly furnishings. He asked, "How can you afford all this on a meagre senator's salary?" The sentaor smiled knowingly and took him to the window. "Can you see the river?" "Yes" "Can you see the bridge over it?" "Of course", said the minister. "10 percent", said the