Santa: 'Stop it! Stop it! Why are you beating the feet of the cows like that and making them jump up and down? Banta: I am trying to make a milk shake.'
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per meter madam," replied Banta (clerk). "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take five meters." "Five meters only?", asked Banta "Hmmmmm..", girl thinks for a moment and said, "Ok give me ten meters" With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, Banta hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.
Santa was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house. "You did a great job." he said and handed the man a check. "Also, in order to thank-you, here's an extra Five hundred rupees to take the Mrs out to dinner and a movie." Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the painter. Thinking the painter had forgotten something Santa asked, "What's the matter, did you forget something?" "Nope." replied the painter. "I'm just here to take your Mrs out to dinner and a movie like you asked."
Santa and his wife, Jeeto, went on vacation to a resort. One morning, Santa came back from fishing after getting up really early that morning and took a nap. Jeeto decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar with the lake, so she rowed out a short distance from shore, anchored the boat and started reading a book she had brought with her. Along comes a guard in his boat - pulls up alongside and asks, "What are you doing out here?" Jeeto replies, "I'm just reading
Santa applied for a loan of Rs 10,00,000. The banker pulled out the loan application, "What have you got for collateral?" "What's collateral?" "Well that's something of value that would cover the cost of the loan. Have you got any vehicle?" "Yes, a Tata Sumo." The banker shook his head, "Any fixed assets, like land, house, building or...?" "Yes, I have five acres of land, and a small farm house." Finally, the banker decided to make the loan.
Santa walked into a bar one evening, sat down and said, "Bar man, give me 1 bottle of beer, and give everybody here 2 bottles. As I am drinking, let them be drinking."
The bar man obeyed. Everybody hailed Santa.
As they were all drinking, Santa said, "Bar man, give me 1 bowl of chicken soup, and give everybody here 2 bowls of chicken soup each, as I am eating, let them be eating."
The bar man obeyed. Everybody praised Santa.
Minutes later, Santa said, "Bar man, bring me my bill, and bring everybody their bill, as I am paying, let them be paying."