Sardarji, jokes punjabi

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Jeeto caught her husband, Santa, searching high and low all around his living room.
Jeeto: "What are you searching for?"
Santa: "Hidden cameras!"
Jeeto: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?"
Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying You are watching the Star News channel. How does he know that?"
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Banta complained to a doctor that he wetted his bed every night.

"Before it happens, do you see any dreams?" the doctor asked.

"Yes, doctor. Usually I see a dream in which a small demon comes and says, 'Let's pee'."

"OK," the doctor said. "Next time you see the demon, say, No, we've already peed."

Next time Banta came to the doctor, the latter asked, "So, did you do as I said?"

"Yes, I did."

"Did it help?"

"No, doctor. Only, it made the matter worse."

"How?"

"As I said 'We've already peed,' the demon nodded and said, 'Then, let's shit a little.'"
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Our Banta is in police department. He is on scene at a terrible accident - body parts everywhere. He is making his notes of where the pieces are and comes across a head.
He writes in his notebook: "Head on bullevard" and scratchs out his spelling error.
"Head on bouelevard" Nope, doesn't look right - scratch scratch.
"Head on boolevard..." dang it! Scratch scratch.
He looks around and sees that no one is looking at him as he kicks the head. "Head on curb."
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Banta is pulled over by the same motorcycle cop who caught him earlier last month for not stopping at lights and beat him up. So Banta decides to go for a revenge this time.
Banta: Is there a problem Officer?
Cop: Sir, you were speeding.
Banta: Oh I see.
Cop: Can I see your licence please?
Banta: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Cop: Don't have one?
Banta: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Cop: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration
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Banta enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."
Banta places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave Banta has ever experienced. After a few strokes, Banta asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?"
"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
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Santa is speaking to his psychiatrist.
Santa: "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me."
Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a phone in your car?"
Santa: "That's a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car."
Psychiatrist: "Uh ... How's that working?"
Santa: "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet."
Psychiatrist: "And why do you think that is?"
Santa: "I figured it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."
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