Sardarji, jokes punjabi

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At night someone knocks on the door. Jeeto wakes up and asks:

"Santa, is that you?"

Silence. She returns to bed. Again a knock.

"Santa, don't make me nervous, is that you?"

Silence. She waits a while then returns to bed. Again a knock. She opens the door to find her drunken husband, Santa, standing there.

"You moron! I was asking if it was you, why weren't you answering???"

"I was nodding you!!!"
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Santa got a part time job at the Chandigarh Post Office. The first assignment his supervisor gave him was the job of sorting the mail.

Santa separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. Extremely pleased by this, the supervisor approached Santa at the end of his first day.

"I just want you to know," the supervisor said, "that I'm very pleased with the job you did today. You're one of the fastest workers we've ever had."

"Thank you, Sir" said Santa, beaming, "and tomorrow I'll try to do even better."

"Better?" the supervisor asked with astonishment. "How can you possibly do any better than you did today?"

Santa replied, "Tomorrow I'm going to read the addresses."
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Banta complained to a doctor that he wetted his bed every night.

"Before it happens, do you see any dreams?" the doctor asked.

"Yes, doctor. Usually I see a dream in which a small demon comes and says, 'Let's pee.'

"OK," the doctor said. "Next time you see the demon, say, No, we've already peed."

Next time Banta came to the doctor, the latter asked, "So, did you do as I said?"

"Yes, I did."

"Did it help?"

"No, doctor. Only, it made the matter worse."

"How?"

"As I said 'We've already peed,' the demon nodded and said, 'Then, let's shit a little.'"
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Banta was once visiting London. After a long walk in one of very fancy clean streets of London, he found himself needing a toilet badly. After a long search he could not find any, and eventually couldnt control and chose a silent corner of a clean street to release himself. Once he had just started, a police official approached him,
Hey, What do you think you re doing here?
Banta: sorry I have to "Pee"
Officer: No PP here okay? Follow me...
The Police officer took him to a beautiful garden nearby with lots of grass, flowers and singing birds around....
Officer: Pee here.. have a nice day.
Banta: Oh sir ... that is very nice of you, is this English courtesy ?
Officer: No... This is Indian Embassy !!
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Santa observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read "Unique Breakfast" so he walked in and sat down. The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted.
Santa: "What's your 'Unique Breakfast?'"
Waitress"Baked tongue of chicken."
Santa: "Baked tongue of chicken?... Do you have any idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken's mouth!"
Undaunted, the waitress asked, "What would you like then?"
"Just bring me scrambled eggs," the man replied.
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Santa and his son were visiting America for the very first time.
Santa was at a Local Food store going up and down the aisles with his son.
Santa asked, "What is this??
Santa's son, "Powdered orange juice"
Santa, "Powdered orange juice??"
Son: "Yeah, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh orange juice."
A few minutes later, in a different aisle Santa asked again, "And what is this??
Son, "Powdered milk"
Santa, "Powdered milk??"
Son: "Yeah, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh milk!"
A few minutes later, in a different aisle...
Santa, "And give a look here!! Baby Powder !! What a country, What a country!"
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