Sardarji, jokes punjabi

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Santa is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.
The inspector decides to give Santa a pop quiz, asking: 'What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?'
Santa says: 'I would switch one train to another track.'
'What if the lever broke?' asks the inspector.
'Then I'd run down to the tracks and use the manual lever down there', answers
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"How does Jeeto like being pregnant?" Banta asked his friend Santa.
"Oh, she's not pregnant," Santa replied, "she's expecting."
"What's the difference?" Banta pressed.
"Well, Santa explained, "She's expecting me to cook dinner, she's expecting me to do the housework, she's expecting me to rub her feet . . ."
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Santa: 'I have one of the most intelligent cats in the world.'
Banta: 'What does it do?'
Santa: 'Watch me pretend to shoot it. Bang! You are dead!'
Banta: 'But the cat did not do anything- he is still just licking his paws.'
Santa: 'That is what I mean about him being intelligent: he knew he was not dead."
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Banta is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws.
The dealer tells him, "Look, I have a lot of models, but why don't you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred of trees for you in one day."
So, Banta takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees. After cutting for several hours and only cutting two trees
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Santa took his elderly father to a nursing home to check it out. He sat his father down on a sofa in the main aisleway and went to talk with the administrators.
Santa's father started to tilt slowly toward the left.
A Doctor came by and said, "Let me help you."
The Doc piled several pillows on the left side of Santa's father so he would stay upright. Santa's father started to tilt slowly to the right. An orderly noticed and put several more pillows on his right side to keep him upright.
Santa's father started to lean forward when a nurse came by and piled several pillows in front of him.
About this time, Santa returned. Santa, "Well, Dad, isn't this a nice place."
Santa's father replied, "I guess it's ok, but they won't let me fart."
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Santa had been out for a few days due to ill health. At work Banta asked him how he was feeling?
"I'm better, thanks. You know, it was a wonderful experience." he replied.
"Wonderful? How can the cold and fever be wonderful?" Banta asked Santa in stunned disbelief.
"Well, I learned that my wife, Jeeto, really loves me. You know that whenever the mailman came by or a delivery man headed toward the door, she ran out to meet them? I could hear her excitedly saying 'My husband is home! My husband is home!'"
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