Sardarji, jokes punjabi

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There were three guys including Santa, talking in the pub. Two of them were talking about the amount of control they had over their wives, while Santa remained quiet.
After a while one of the first two turns to Santa and says: "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"
Santa says: "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."
The first two guys were amazed.
"What happened then?" they asked.
"Well," Santa said, "she told me to 'get out from under the bed and fight like a man'."
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It was a really hot day at the office. There were about twenty people in close quarters and everyone was sweating, even with a fan on.
All of a sudden, people started to wrinkle their noses at an odor passing through the air. It was the most hideous smell anyone had ever smelt.
One man said, "Uh oh, someone's deodorant isn't working."
Santa from the distant corner replied, "It can't be me. I'm not wearing any."
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Santa and Banta went into a diner that looked as though it had seen better days. As they slid in to a booth, Banta wiped some crumbs from the seat. Then he took a napkin and wiped some moisture from the table. The waitress came over and asked if they wanted some menus.

"No thanks," said Santa. "I'll just have a cup of black coffee."

"I'll have black coffee too," Banta said. "And please make sure the cup is clean."

The waitress shot him a nasty look. She turned and marched off in to the kitchen. Two minutes later, she was back.

"Two cups of black coffee," she announced. "Which one of you wanted the clean cup?"
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Santa was spending some of his hard-earned cash on a luxury cruise and was given a table with a Frenchman.

At their first meal together, the Frenchman said, "Bon appetit!"

Before the next meal commenced the performance was repeated.

"Bon appetit," said the Frenchman.

"Santa Ji," replied Santa.

After this had happened at every meal for three days, Santa was getting fed up, and told a fellow traveller about it.

"He
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Banta sets up Santa to go on a blind date with a friend of his. But Santa is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before.
"What do I do if she's ugly?" says Santa, "I'll be stuck with her all night."
"Don't worry," Banta says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned.
If you don't just shout 'Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuggghhh!' and fake an asthma attack."
So that night, Santa knocks at the girl's door and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is.
He's about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts: ..."Aaaaaaaaaaauuugguuughhh!"
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Santa is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!!"
Santa immediately leans out his window and replies, "BITCH!!"
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.
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