Sardarji, jokes punjabi

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Santa is a evening bird lover. One day he stood in his backyard and heard an owl hoot. So he thought he'd give a hoot back. To his surprise and delight the bird hooted again.
The next night the same scenario occurred.
All summer, Santa and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the "conversations." Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in interspecies communication, his wife, Jeeto, had a chat with Preeto (Mrs Banta), her next door neighbour,
"My husband spends his nights calling to owls," she said.
"That's odd," the neighbour replied. "So does my husband."
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Santa saw that his friend Banta was very depressed.
"What happened?" asked Santa.
"Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday . "
"How come ?" "Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and Australia was being shown live on TV. I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet."
"But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest go?"
"Yaar, I bet on the highlights too "
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Banta is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey.

Santa happens to come into the bar and sees him.

"Banta," says the shocked Santa, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink before. What's going on?"

Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, Banta replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend."

He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp.

"But," says Santa man, "I'm your best friend!"

Banta turns to Santa, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs, "Not anymore! He is!"
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Banta was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge.
Banta turned to his wife with a look of question on his face. "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."
His wife replies, "Why thank you, dear!"
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One day Santa was talking with a salesman about his goats. As they were talking the salesman noticed that one of the goats had a wooden leg. "What's the deal with the goat with the wooden leg?" asked the salesman.
"Oh! That's the best goat I've got, best goat I've ever had, could just be the best goat in the whole world!" said the farmer. "Six months ago, in the middle of the night our house caught fire. That goat crawled under the fence, ran to the house, beat on our bedroom
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The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing.
The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"
The room got quiet.
Finally, our Banta raised his hand.
"Yes?" replied the teacher.
"Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

Lamaze- A technique of psychoprophylactic preparation for childbirth, designed to minimise the pain of labour.
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