A troop of Boy Scouts was being used as "Guinea pigs" in a test of emergency systems.
A mock earthquake was staged, and the Scouts impersonated wounded persons who were to be picked up and cared for by the emergency units.
One Scout was supposed to lie on the ground and await his rescuers, but the first-aid people got behind schedule, and the Scout lay "wounded" for several hours.
When the first-aid squad arrived where the casualty was supposed to be, they found nothing but this brief note: "Have bled to death and gone home."
Bush and Powell are sitting in a bar. Santa walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?" The barman says "Yep, thats them." So the Santa walks over and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?" And Bush says, "We're planning world war 3" And Santa says, "Really? What's going to happen?" And Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Afghans this time and one bicycle repairman." And Santa exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"
So Bush turns to Powell and says, " See, I told you no-one would worry about the 140 million Afghans!"
A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.
"You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one !", the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear.
"The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon
A survey was conducted by the U.N. The only question asked was, "Would you please give your most honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a HUGE failure.
In Africa, they did not know what "food" means.
In Western Europe, they did not know what "shortage" means.
In Eastern Europe, they did not know what "opinion" means.
In the Middle East, they did not know what "solution" means.
In South America, they did not know what "please" means.
In Asia, they did not know what "honest" means.
And in the USA, they did not know what "THE REST OF THE WORLD" means.