A blonde asked a farmer, "Why doesn't this cow have any horns?"
The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, "Well, cattle can do a lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep them trimmed down. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this cow doesn't have horns is because it's a horse."
Santa took his dog to the vet for its annual check-up. "Your dog is overweight," the vet said. "You should cut back on his food a little and make sure he gets some exercise. Try playing fetch with him." "That's impossible," Santa replied. "I can't play fetch with my dog." "Why not?" asked the puzzled vet. "Because," Santa said, "he can't throw."
In Jerusalem, an American female journalist heard about an old rabbi who visited the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time.
In an effort to check out the story, she goes to the holy site and there he is!
She watches the bearded old man at prayer--and after about 45 minutes, when he turns to leave, she approaches him for an interview.
"I'm Rebecca from CNN, sir, how long have you been coming to the Wailing Wall and praying
Santa was visiting Chandigarh for the first time. He wanted to see the Rock Garden.
Unfortunately, he couldn't find it, so he asked a police officer for directions, "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Rock Garden?"
The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 46 bus. It'll take you right there."
He thanked the officer and the officer drove off. Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, Santa is still waiting at the same bus stop.
The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Rock Garden, I said to wait here for the number 46 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?"
Santa replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 43rd bus just went by!"