ARIES: Dear God! Give me PATIENCE and I want it NOW!
TAURUS: Well, I prefer natural light if at all possible. Are you absolutely positive that lightbulb is burned out? I hate to throw it away if it still might be useful.
GEMINI: Yo God...(or is it Goddess?)...Who are you?...What are you?.....Where are You?.....How many of you ARE there? I can't figure you out!
CANCER: Dear Daddy, I know I shouldn't depend on you so much, but you're the only One
The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible. He threw down his palette, took her in his arms, and kissed her.
She pushed him away. "Maybe your other models let you kiss them," she said, "but I'm not that kind!"
"Actually, I've never tried to kiss a model before," he protested.
"Really?" she said, softening. "Well, how many models have there been?"
"Four so far," he replied, thinking back. "A jug, two apples and a vase."
Banta's friend from a foreign country visited India for the first time. He asked Banta tips for safe driving on the Indian roads as he wished to proceed on a sight-seeing tour in his own car. Banta advised: 'While driving, if you come across a roadways bus, just slow down and let it pass. If a truck approaches you, pull your vehicle to the side and start again only when it has passed. But if you see a Fauji truck approaching you, stop your car in the side track, get out of it and climb a nearby tree.'
An Elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Joe had carved: I love you, Nancy.
On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Nancy quickly picked it up
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted ten thousand rupees to compromise this case?" The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question. "Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question." "Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."