A man spent a weekend gambling in Las Vegas casinos, and he won $100,000.
He didn't want anyone to know about it, so when he came back home, he immediately went out to the backyard of his house, dug a hole and planted the money in it.
The next morning he walked outside and found only an empty hole. He noticed footsteps leading from the hole to the house next door, which was owned by a deaf-mute. On the same street lived a professor who understood sign language
The limousine was taking the beautiful raven-haired model to the airport. Halfway there, the front tire went flat. The model said, "Driver, I don't have time to wait for road service. Can you change it yourself?" The driver said, "Sure." He got out of the car and proceeded to change the tire, but couldn't get the wheel cover off. The model saw him struggling and asked, "Do you want a screwdriver?" He said "Sure! But, first I have to change this tire."
Mrs Santa accompanied Santa to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone... He said, "Mr Santa is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, he will surely die." "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with
Two campers were aroused one night by the sounds of a huge bear tearing up their campsite. Realizing that the bear would soon make its way to their tent, they started planning their strategy. One of the campers started putting on shoes. His buddy said "Hey, even with shoes on you ll never outrun that bear". He replied "I don t *have* to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun *you*".
Anti-body - - Against everyone Artery -- The study of fine paintings Bacteria -- The back door of a cafeteria Barium -- What you do after CPR fails Benign -- What you are after you be eight and before you be ten Cardiac arrest -- Taken into custody after stealing a coupe Deville CAT Scan -- Searching for the kitty Cardiology Advance -- study of poker playing Cauterize -- To make eye contact with a woman Cesarean section -- A
One day a man decided to retire. He booked himself on a Caribbean Cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.
In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"