A professor was warning his students against the hazards of kissing. "You should know when a boy kisses a girl transfers 40,000 germs from his mouth to that of his girl friend. What can you do about that?" Pat came the reply from a girl, "You should give him back all his germs the same way."
The teacher advised the class that they start each day with the pledge of allegiance and instructed them to put their right hand over their hearts and repeat after her.
As she starts the recitation, she looks around the room, 'I pledge allegiance to the flag...' When her eyes fell on Johnny, she found he had his hand over the right cheek of his buttocks.
'Johnny, I will not continue until you put your hand over your heart.'
Johnny replied, 'But it is over my heart.'
After several attempts to get Johnny to put his hand over his heart, the teacher asked, 'Why do you think that is your heart?'
'Because every time my Grandma comes to visit, she picks me up and pats me here and says, 'Bless your little heart,' and my Grandma wouldn't lie!'
After having failed his exam in Logistics and Organization, a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.
Student, Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?
Professor, Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!
Student, Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an 'A' for
They made an engaging looking couple in the swank restaurant: The man was handsome, graying and obviously well off; the woman was a joy to any eye - very young, ravishing and delectable.
As they each read their menus, the gentleman asked his date what she would like to eat.
She scanned the menu yet again, and said, "To begin, I'll have two champagne cocktails, then a dozen oysters on the half shell and a tureen of turtle soup. As entrees I'll have the filet