A police car pulls up in front of grandma Cohen's house, and grandpa gets out.
The polite policeman explained, "I came upon this elderly gentleman who said that he was lost in the park and couldn't find his way home. He did, however, know the address, and so here we are. Do you know this gentleman?"
"Of course, officer! It's my Morris!", said grandma Cohen. Turning to grandpa, she said, "Morris ! You've been going to that park for over 30 years! How could you possibly get lost?"
Leaning close, so that the policeman couldn't hear, grandpa whispered, "Shhhh I wasn't lost... I was just too tired to walk home."
There was an earthquake recently that scared the inhabitants of a certain town. One couple sent their little boy to stay with an Uncle in another district, explaining the reason for the nephew's sudden visit. A day later the parents received this telegram, "Am returning your boy. Send the earthquake."
Wife: Mehmaan Aa Rahe Hain Aur Ghar Main Daal Ke Siva Kuchh Bhi Nahi.
Husband: Jab Woh Aaye Toh Kitchen Mein Ek Bartan Gira Dena, Aur Jab Main Puchchu Toh Kehna Ki KORMA Gir Gaya... Phir Dusra Bartan Girana, Aur Kehna Biryani Gir Gayi... Phir Main Kahunga Chalo Daal Hi Le Aao...
Mehmano Ke Aane Ke Baad Bartan Girne Ki Awaaz Aayi.....
Husband: Kya Hua...???
Wife: Bhangra Paa Le Kanjraaa... Daal Hi Gir Gayi...
Farmer Joe had a nagging wife who made his life miserable. The only real peace that he got was when he was out in the field plowing. One day when he was out in the field, Joe's wife brought his lunch to him.
Then she stayed while he quietly ate and berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining. Suddenly, Joe's old mule kicked up his back legs, striking her in the head, and killing her instantly.
Santa and and his wife, Jeeto, went to a fair. Santa had never been on an airplane, was fascinated by a stunt plane and asked the pilot how much aride would cost. "Rupees one thousand for 3 minutes" the pilot replied. "That's too much" said Santa. The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make any sound at all, you'll have to pay me the whole amount." Santa and Jeeto agreed and went for a thrilling ride. After they landed, the pilot said to Santa, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man." "Maybe so," said Santa, "but I gotta tell you, I almost screamed when my wife fell out."