Three smiling corpses are lying in a morgue in Arkansas, and a detective goes into the coroner's to find the causes of death. The coroner points to the first dead man. "This is Cletus," he says. "He died of shock after winning 20 million on the lottery." He then moves on to the second smiling corpse. "This is Bo," the coroner says with a grin. "He died while doing 'it' with Trudy-May." Finally he moves on to the last smiling corpse. "This is Roscoe," says the coroner. "He died after being struck by lightning." "Well," asks the detective, "Why in hell was the fool smiling?"
"Oh," says the coroner. "He thought he was having his picture taken."
Wife is angry as hubby stands too close to a beautiful girl in bus, a few seconds later the girl slaps him for pinching. Hubby to wife: I swear I didn't. Wife: I know, I did it...
Doctor to injured patient: Jab Car Ek Lady Vhalaa Rahi Thi Toh Tumhein Road Se Dur Hat Jaana Chahiye Tha. Patient: Kaun Sa Road? Main Toh Garden Mein Letaa Huaa Tha.
Husbund & Wife Ek Hi Plate Mein Pani Puri Kha Rahe The, 1 Dusre Ki Aankhon Mein Aankhe Daal Ke.
Efficiency expert, Banta, concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You need to be careful about trying these techniques at home. " "Why?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," Banta explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the guy in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied Banta, "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."
A mental hospital was critically overcrowded. The doctor decides to get all the patients seated in one large room to conduct a test to see how many they discharge that day.
At the front of the room the Doctors took some chalk and drew a full size door on a Blackboard and offered an ice cream to any patient who could open the door.
There was a mad rush for the door with the patients scratching a clawing at the door and the handle.